The Never Evers

Session 13 February 2022

I wake up in the Skullport Inn. I rub my eyes to wake up and think about the state the party was in yesterday. Everyone wanted to go back to Undermountain as quickly as possible, however, I did not share that sentiment. I was happy being in Waterdeep again, in spite of the awful memories I have of that place: I lost my parents there. I would’ve loved to visit their graves again and pay my respects to my father in particular and ask him for guidance. Occupied with my thoughts, I attune with the rod of rulership I got last night. After, I join the rest for some breakfast.

At the breakfast table, Zeph is playing his flute. Wait, that is a new one. “Look, look, guys! I have a new flute! I got it from Farryn!” Zeph says happily. From up close, I can see something engraved in the flute: “To Zeph, from Farryn”.

After breakfast, we decide to first go to Tasselgryn to ask for directions on level 12 and to check up on her loot-related needs before we go to the Drow priestess again. We step into her store and greet her. I haven’t met her before, but she looks funny. I can’t put my finger on it, she is just… odd. Nice, but odd. We talk about Hallaster for a bit, and I notice that she is really impressed by him. We say that the Hallaster teaching at the Wizard Academy is an Arcanaloth, but she waves our arguments away, deeming them ‘rubbish’. To change the subject, we ask about the items she wants us to look for. Apparently, she searches for a horn from a Minotaur that can resurrect fallen warriors. It resides inside a labyrinth at level 12. That is a coincidence, that is where we’re headed. She tells us that there is a priest on that level who worships the demon lord Baphomet, he has the horn. “But… What will you pay us?” Farryn asks bluntly. She responds she’ll pay us with teleportation at any given moment we want, but only for emergencies; she won’t mess with Hallasters’ plans.

We thank Tas and head out. We find a portal that takes us back to level 10, to the Drow. At level 10, we pass a patrol. The Drow are fixing the glass spider statue I animated during our fight with Muiral. “Hail house Auvryndar!” we say as we pass them. After a brisk walk, we return to the priestess.

“Hello priestess, we’re back. I have something for you – it’s of great value to you,” says Zeph, flying forward. He presents the stone Lolth face he took from the statue that attacked us at the balcony upstairs. “How did you acquire this…?” asks the priestess. “I found it on the ground. And I thought you might want it. ” I don’t know how to behave – because I know this is a lie, and I can’t really hide my uncomfortableness. Luckily, the priestess doesn’t notice my awkward squeaks and nervousness. “Yeah, there has been a lot of vandalism against our house and faith… We’re doing our very best to restore everything to its former glory.” “Well, here is our stone Lolth face back,” says Zeph. “Can we maybe exchange it for something?” “No. This is holy, and for children of Lolth as yourself, restoration and devotion are rewarding enough.” With a bit of a sad face, Zeph hands the stone face to Zress, who takes it to another Drow to restore the statue. We decide we are going to descend the stairs. The priestess advises us to take someone with us and calls for Nhilisstra. As Nhilisstra approaches, she says something about set traps by house Freth. According to the priestess, house Freth and its Drow are the lowest forms of life on this planet, but they think the same of house Avryndarr and have set loads of traps downstairs – “it’s a minefield down there.”

Nhilisstra leads us to a base camp and gives us a token of house Freth to infiltrate the base. While I inspect the token, Farryn asks the Drow how they’re doing here and if they could tell us something about this level. I listen to their conversation: at the moment, there is a large battle going on in the center. The other priestess is fighting house Freth here. The leader is Erelal Freth, she lives one level down with her brother Drivvin – together, they rule their house. Amongst their followers, there is a wizard and a great demon lord – they have an acid pool too. “Lucky for you, you guys have the Never Evers!” says Zeph. The Drow looks at him, confused. “That’s us!” “Ah… Okay, okay.”

The Drow continues: they’re also afraid of a Behir. He eats dead bodies and sometimes sneaks through the halls to capture someone. It has some weird ruins on his skin and looks somewhat like a dragon. It is a very dangerous creature. We agree to find the Behir first (maybe we can command him to help us to attack house Freth). We follow the directions the Drow gave us, and find a lot of cut-off arms and legs during our search. Turning a corner, we see a Deep Gnome gnawing on dead Drow bodies. It is crunching and munching – I can hear the bones break and meat rip. Shivers go down my spine. Farryn wants to greet the Deep Gnome. I think that’s a very stupid idea, but he has already approached the thing. After a couple of seconds, Farryn asks me to join him, because he cannot understand the Deep Gnome. I really don’t fancy getting closer, but I can translate almost every language with my helmet, so I approach the Gnome reluctantly.


Farryn opens his hands, just like the Gnome. “He wants food?” The Gnome walks up to Farm with his hands cupped and stretched out. “FOOD!” Zeph gets some rations out of his bag and gives them to the Gnome. The expression on the Gnomes face changes: I can see it is really enjoying the food.

Is it really a Deep Gnome? I wonder. How come Farryn couldn’t understand it – they should speak the same language I’d think. Apparently, Valentine doesn’t trust this situation either. “Shall I cast dispel magic?” she asks. I nod. With a snip of her finger, she casts the spell. Suddenly, the Gnome starts to grow larger and larger: it is actually a Troll. The troll, however, doesn’t notice and just continues eating his dinner. We decide to leave him alone and continue our search for the Behir. We walk away and turn a corner. Zeph, flying at the back of the line squeaks. “Um… Guys?! The troll is following me.” The only thing I hear from behind is: “Food?” Zeph throws another ration package to a bunch of Troglodytes we see and we hasten to getaway. In the distance, I see the troll walking happily towards the Troglodytes and his food.

We hear some growling up ahead. As we walk toward the sound, Valentine already sees some drow and a Hezrou attack big mosquitoes. We know that the mosquitoes are the ‘enemy’ at this point and approach to attack. However, Zeph stops us: “Guys. I think I just saw the Behir…” he says as he flies off. I decide to follow. Along the way, Zeph enchants us to make us all look invisible so we can sneak up on the Behir – we know he is on the ceiling somewhere.

Eventually, we find a big pile of treasure surrounded by many bones on a ledge above us. We all climb up, and Zeph flies around some stone pillars. Suddenly, Zeph stops and hangs still in the air. The look on his face exudes fear. He creates a big bomb of glitter in his hands and throws it on the pillar close to him and exposes the Behirs’ hiding place. It was invisible too, and very close to Zeph. Now I can see the enemy, I cast fireball and scare the Behir off; it goes to another pillar. However, that one is closer to Zeph and the Behir tries to constrict Zeph with his spikey tail. “AAUUWWW!” cries Zeph.

I hear a low voice: “Sleeeep…” I look closer, and see the Behir commands Zeph to fall asleep; unfortunately, with success. I feel kind of drowsy too, but shake it off. A shiver runs down my spine, but I walk forward and command the Behir with my rod of rulership. “LEAVE MY FRIEND ALONE, PUT HIM DOWN SAFELY!”

It was such a GENIOUS action of mine. To my biggest regret, the Behir shakes its head and grins at me. I stumble back, scared of the monster and disappointed with my skills. Next, the Behir climbs toward Valentine and starts biting her – luckily, his attacks miss her. He sprays something, but I counterspell it so the weird gas cannot hurt anyone. Shortly after, I cast fireball again.

Despite our efforts to kill the beast and free Zeph, the Behir throws Zeph up into the air, spreads his beak, and swallows him whole. I am horror-struck. THIS IS AWFUL. Please, please, please… Don’t let Zeph die! I gather my courage and think of a way to get Zeph out without hurting him more inside the Behir. I think of a way, and then I have an epiphany: I’ll try to let it VOMIT. I cast a poison chromatic orb but I miss the Behir. How could I’ve missed the shot?! It was SO IMPORTANT to get this one. Suddenly, the Behir uses his breath weapon, causing Grond to fall to the ground and Farryn to get electrified from the lightning originating from the Behirs’ beak. Valentine is in the line of fire too and is knocked to the ground. I keep a close eye on the Behir, and when it attempts to become invisible again, I counterspell his actions.

Farryn has some strength left to smash the Behir. First, he hits himself, but his second attack slashes the Behir open from the stomach up. The Behir collapses and exposes Zeph, who is still breathing in the middle of the acid stomach-saps. Zeph opens his eyes and coughs like hell. He crawls out of the remains of the Behir and lies flat on his back and looks around, cleans himself off, and starts playing his flute. 

“Never have I ever been stuck in a Behirs’ stomach!” Zeph conjures a minor illusion of a shot glass and pretends to drink it in one go. We talk a bit to process this fight: it seemed like EVERYTHING was against us this time. We hope this won’t be a new habit of ours, stumbling and fumbling during fights…

We take a short rest in the treasure-hoard of the Behir and spend some time gathering coins and little trinkets. We find 6700 gold pieces, 4100 silver pieces, a gold-and-onyx brooch, a silver music box of elven design, and a helmet. I warn Farryn not to take everything with him because the Drow on this level that are also searching for this treasure, but he wants to take it all to add to the party stash. “More riches for us!” he shouts.

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